Adorned by the light of the rising sun, I felt a sensation I certainly hadn’t felt before when I gently kissed her tender lips good-bye as she scampered placidly across the street and hurried to catch her raging bus on the other side of the road, but as we distanced ourselves from each other and let go, I all of a suddenly took notice of something that she unfortunately did not: a black Toyota compact car attempting to come to a standstill as it violently threw her up onto the windshield and back down to rest on the cold pavement.
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The sentence is very descriptive. I really got a sense of the setting of this scene. I liked the use of the semicolon, it's typically not used by a lot of writers, it works nicely in this sentence to lead into the unfortunate ending of this event. The sentence was constructed in a way that allowed the reader to follow from one occurrence to the next without losing sight of what's going on. You can feel the narrator taking you through each part of the story, and you can get a sense of the different emotional highs and lows the narrator is experiencing all in such a short span of time.
ReplyDeleteOften when describing an accident or a traumatic experience people will explain how time seemed to stand still or how one moment lasted an eternity. This seems to be an important theme for mentally impactful events, and this theme clearly shows in this sentence. One can imagine the tenderness of the kiss and the sense of not wanting it to end, through descriptive words like “Tender” and “Placidly,” which carry with them a soft and slow tone. Yet as the moment begins to sour, it does not speed up, the sentence maintains the same pace. When the author “Took notice of something that she unfortunately did not,” one realizes the helplessness felt and how that adds to the idea of time standing still. This sentence accomplishes all of this without being overly descriptive, or using any special structure, rather, it conveys the mood and pace of the event by choosing the right words, not too verbose, but not too simple. This sentence manages to capture the tone of this event, and really ends up feeling more like a story than a single sentence.
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